When is enough, enough?
Raised to be a career woman
Take care of myself
Make money.
Be successful
Perfect house
Perfect life
I am so much more than that.
Divine feminine.
Some of us cannot do both roles.
I wanted to, but to be my best, i have had to let go of that type of career.
There was never enough i could do for my patients. I wanted to give them more. I wished i was a medical doctor who could work with patients one by one curing all of their ailments. I looked into going back to school.
My job seemed less important once i had children.
I liked my work prior to children. I think i knew that would all change when i had a child and i continued to resist it until it was screaming at me.
I cant blame anyone for my changes. I grew. i waited to let my traditional career go until i was frustrated and upset. The emotions of it all made it so much harder. I felt like i was drowning through it all. The huge emotions made me feel like i was wrong. As if i did everything wrong.
The emotions were a signal.
My emotions boil up to a childlike tantrum when i am breaking through. Its hard to recognize because i want to deal with my life logically, calmly, lovingly, but my emotions signal to me that this is the big stuff! These are the changes that are the hardest. Whatever has been, cannot be anymore.
Ideals
Growing up, we are taught so many ways of life. And in the culture we are raised in, the beliefs are the only way. Our families have a huge impact on this influence. So do our communities, from churches, teachers, coaches, mentors. We take in all of this information and realize that this is how the world works. So we buy into it….
The challenges arise when you question it?
Questioning can start early. You see teenagers pushing back.
I know i pushed back. I pushed back enough to get away to college to get some space. There i did not fully process what i now know, but i set my future up for the “ideal life.”
Good money, 8–5, no work after work, conducive for family life in case i decided to have children one day.
Yet, i drank a lot through college. Black out drank. I just thought it was what college kids did. I worked between 20–40 hours a week while going to school and i partied hard. I also chalked it up to the fact i was Very limited as a teen. I was grounded a lot. I felt trapped and unable to let loose, so i changed that and went wild.
Looking back, if i had chosen a path that greatly fulfilled me and made me strive daily to achieve it and lit me up, i would’ve had a very different experience.
I chose the easy way out. A technical career that i could live the life i was supposed to live. With this career, i could pay my bills, support myself and future family, it was so logical!
Part of me wonders if it was because my student loans were cosigned by my grandparents and i couldn’t let them down? Or i just needed easy in my life?
Whatever it was, i went through with it. And it only took me 14 years of practice, after college, to realize it was not what i ever wanted.
Sometimes the first step is just saying;
This is not for me. I am not happy. Time to explore and figure out what it is that lights me up.
Time to explore
Not all of us have the luxury to just leave our current situations, but if you can find a way — - do it now!!!!
The hardship will be worth the time you take for yourself.
Our situation to change, meant selling our renovation money pit in an amazing city, moving across the country to slice our mortgage payment to less than half and live in the country.
This was our big leap of faith, so i could take more time away from work to explore and rest.
I realize not everyone can make extremes like this happen, but what if you could?
What if you could turn your world upside down for a minute, so you can learn and grow into yourself for a lifetime?
It may be worth it.
Simpler options are to carve time out. Carve time out every day or even once a week to explore your options. What makes you tick, what brings you joy? What gets you excited to wake up in the morning?
Everyone should have the opportunity in life to wake up and think-
I get to
Not
I have to.
What do you get to do today???
Only you can decide when enough is enough.
Start living!!! Today!
